(*Groan*)

Yay.

What's "Yay"?

Kyler Thatch's pun.

edited 11th Apr '11 6:20:42 AM by Ultimatum

That was a terrible pun.

I know, right? Terrible puns are the best kind.

Bad puns make my brain huuuuuurt. >.<

My desktop wallpaper just got 10% cooler.

It was a tossup between this and Cheerilee.

Oh god. The lights. The colours. I wasn't even alive in the 80's and that desktop is giving me flashbacks.

Same here.

Rumor has it that Celestia's coat smells like waffles.

Discuss.

Never been close enough to tell.

• Fluttershy with glasses! <3 *
  ^{(Gotta wonder, though, aren't those Silver Spoon's glasses?)}
• That is actually a pretty neat shirt.

I have no idea how they let this violent display on MLP.

She's just acting out because she can't be a tree.

What a firfag.

I went to make one for my own page and then I got carried away...

I had once mounted an expedition to discover the true nature of Celestia's coat. I had gathered all the supplies I would need - plenty of food, mountain climbing equipment, and map of her castle, meticulously charted from the few screenshots from the show. I had been prepared to go on my own, knowing full well I would likely never even find Equestria, but before I left I was approached by a young man. He was a student of quantum physics, looking to make a name for himself with the conclusive proof of multiple worlds that our adventure would bring. I was hesitant to bring him along, young as he was, but he convinced me that I would never succeed without him, and he was right.

He had built a machine that he told me would take us to the land of Equestria, and his words proved true. All I can remember is that we were in a dirty basement laboratory one minute, then there was a blinding flash, and we found ourselves on the tip of a pastel mountain, looking down on an alabaster city, gleaming white against the dark sky. The decent to the castle was easy; the mountain was so steep on the sides that we merely needed to repel from a secure point near the top, and even amongst the beauty of Canterlot the palace was striking. We encountered little resistance in the streets, most of the ponies having long gone for their nightly rest, but as we neared the castle we encountered troops of guards, all a pristine white in their golden armour. let me tell you now, a world filtered through a television set does no justice to itself at all. I've never seen anything quite so beautiful, the way their fur meshed so perfectly with their feathers, the perfect end of a perfect blend of evolution and magic. It was all we could do not to reach out to touch them, but we knew our quest would never find it's end if we were to be caught.

The mountain climbing gear proved it had another purpose, to scale the castle wall and enter through a high window. For someone who spent most of his days in a lab, puring over notes and experiments, my assistant proved himself quite capable physically. To our surprise, the castle was mostly empty. We saw only a few guards, and even then their vigil was relaxed; it was the middle of the night, after all. My map was accurate, and we quickly found the throne room. It was completely empty, to my assistants surprise and my relief. I had expected at least one of the princesses might be there, watching over the rhythm of the moon and sun, and that they would call out for guards the instant they saw us. We had no idea where to find the princesses' bedchambers, but I had the notion that they must be close by. It was my assistant that found it first. We had searched the throne room high and low for secret rooms, and he had taken a seat on Celestia's seat of power for rest. It was not a throne made for humans, and it was never expected that someone would lean back on it, like he did. The back came open, swinging silently on well-oiled hinges, into her bedchamber.

We saw her, then. She was beautiful...no, beautiful doesn't do her justice. The guards were beautiful. She was divine. I almost had what I had come for. All it would take is for me to get close, just a whiff, and we could leave. The boy would have his proof, and all the world would know.

We never expected her guards. Why would a goddess, sealed away in a secret chamber need guards so close, was what we had thought. especially one who was so beloved? A world viewed through a television screen cannot do itself justice. Even when her guards moved, we could still hardly see them. They were the most perfect blue, blending perfectly into the shadows of the night. We panicked. We ran. We ran through the castle blindly, heedless of the guards that we alerted. We finally found window low enough to escape through, into the city streets. We left the city behind us, fleeing for the mountain where we had come from. My assistant had assured me the same machine that had sent us here would have kept a portal open where it deposited us, and we would just need to turn off the machine. We scaled the moutain as fast as we could, but muscles driven by fear and adrenaline will never be strong enough to out-climb wings. They caught us almost instantly. I think, looking back, they could have any time, but they were never so kind.

We were halfway up the mountain when they came for us. Our muscles burnt, screaming with every inch. The guards began to berate us, sweeping past and disturbing the rope, and striking at us with their hooves. My assistant called to me from below. His arms were tired. His grip was slipping. He couldn't hold on anymore, he told me. I stretched out my hand to him, told him to take it. I told him I would get him out of there. I told him we would make it back, and he would be famous. I told him I would protect him. I lied to him.

He fell.

I heard him scream the whole way down. The mountain was sheer, no ledges to slow his fall until he reached the city. The guards never moved to help him. They let him die. I never even saw his body. I think the left it where it fell. I was not so fortunate.

They must have known that I was the leader, because they took me back. They were careful not to hurt me. They didn't need to bother. I wouldn't have fought back. The brought me before their princess. She stood and waited while I wept over my assistant. When I finally looked up, there was this look in her eye...it was so old, I can't even begin to describe it. If there were words for what I felt from those eyes, I don't know them. But it was astounding. It was like looking at my mother for the first time after being born. I was so confused, so afraid, and she seemed so warm. But gods...the heat of the sun can grow the most beautiful flowers, but can it scorch the earth beneath it.

I wasn't the first to come through, she told me. There had been others, who stumbled across her kingdom, but I was the first to do so on purpose. She asked me what I came for, and I told her without a second thought. She walked to me - gods, when she walked. I've never seen anything like it. The most magnificent creature I've ever seen. I wanted to touch her, so badly. Never lustfully, never anything so crass, I just wanted to feel her. Feel if something so incredible could really be real. She knew, I think. She mocked me. I didn't care. Even her cruel words had this element about them, like cream to a starving man, like the most beautiful music I had ever forgotten, and longed to hear again. I remember her words perfectly. She said to me,

"Is that all you came for? You stand before a goddess, who could grant you anything, give you the world if you asked, and all you want to know is how I smell? Silly human. You're kind has always been so paltry. It would almost be funny, if it weren't so sad. Fine, I'll let you have your desire. Then I'll send you home. Not at first, though. I think I'd like to see you wait for more blessings, first. That should be enough punishment, knowing you'll never find something like it again."

She smiled at me. That smile...there wasn't an ounce of humor in it. It was the smile of a schoolyard bully, only a thousand times more tirrible. She brushed up against me, and I smelt her, then. Her guards took me away, and I begged for more of her. one more whiff, one more smell, but she payed me no heed. She laughed at me, as they dragged me down to the dungeons.

I spent two weeks, down there. Praying she would come back, and I could smell her. She came back only once. She never spoke, she never came close enough for me to smell, she just watched. That was then they took me back to the portal. Just before they sent me through, she cast a spell on me. She took away my assistants name. I don't know why. I couldn't even begin to fathom what her ancient mind thought. They shoved me through the portal, and as I found my bearing in that dirty little lab, a bolt of light came through the portal, destroying the machine that held it open.

Yes, she smelt like waffles. Not just any waffles, that would be too plain for something like her. It smelt like the first batch of waffles my mother ever baked for me, when I learned how to ride my bike. There were other smells, too. The richest syrup you'll ever taste, and strawberries so fresh they might have come from the garden of eden itself. It was magnificent. I weep, now, unabashedly, when I eat waffles. They'll never be as good as they might be, they taste like as by comparison. I started a waffle store, so I could spend all day making them, hoping that one day I could make them as good...but I never will, and I know that. I make them because of him. I make them so I can remember that poor, nameless student, who died in a world not his own, with no one to mourn him but me. And I can't even give him a grave, because I don't know who he was.

A world viewed through a television screen can never do itself justice.

This is pretty cool!

This will give you nightmares. >:D

edited 11th Apr '11 11:23:45 PM by SandJosieph

Did...did you come up with that by yourself?

That was beautiful!

Is there a complete list of voice actors for all the episodes floating around somewhere?

Because the voice of Carrot Top in Swarm of the Century (in the "Welcome Princess Celest" scene) was so adorable.

"We couldn't fit it all in..."

Bad thoughts.

Aheh...yeah, I came up with the whole thing myself. I have this weird tendency to ramble on off of the slimmest little provocation when I'm bored...I think this would be the first time someone's considered it anything more than a bad habit

It's kinda funny to hear it called beautiful. Looking back on it, it feels like there's this air of Fetish Fuel there...you really liked it?

edited 12th Apr '11 12:53:14 PM by kegisak

Yeah, I thought it was good! You should like...put it on ponibooru as an image or something.

Huh. Well, I might just, then. Maybe make a picture to go with it first, it being a image site, and all.

Forget about Zecora, Pinkie Pie is way better at putting people into trances.