I've read
Through the Eyes of Another Pony. I rather like it. Here are some thoughts:
I really like the author's prose, though his dialogue is a bit weird at times. He manages to be funny most of the time when it's required, and
HOLY FUCK was that mage duel in the newest chapter well-written. I've tried writing mage duels so many times, and only gotten semi-content with them, so I can tell how hard it is to get one this right. Most of the canon characters stay in-character, except Fluttershy who's too naïve, in my opinion. The OCs are mostly fun, though I think there are too many of them, when the author could instead use canon ponies as side characters.
The mythology/backstory is really weird at times, but I feel like it's starting to make sense as of the newest chapter. It's not quite there yet ("there" meaning "satisfyingly explained"), but I'm cautiously optimistic. However, the actual story of the now-and-here in the fic could use a lot of improvement. The timeline feels really flexible, especially when things are happening in two places at once. Even given the explanation that
this is someone's approximation of Equestria, and not the real deal, the world feels really flat:
Evacuating the populations of Ponyville and Canterlot to Appleloosa is treated like all of Equestria is safe for now.
The characterisations are fairly interesting. Chapter 14 (yes, I mention that chapter every paragraph, though mostly because it's most fresh in my mind) is a really good example of the author's skill. The first half is building up these characters, showing what makes them tick, and the second half ignites a conflict where all their various traits come to play.
One of my main problems is that at times the story seems to ignore very prominent questions to try to keep its pace. The implications of
FIM existing as a fictional show on Earth are never brought up until... what, chapter 12? I mean, I can understand Firewall not telling anyone that "either someone on my world knows about this world and totally ripped it off, or something fishy is going on...",
BUT he never wonders about that in his mind either.
And Luna doesn't bring it up either after absorbing the collected knowledge of all humankind, including everything about the history of the My Little Pony franchise.
I think it's definitely worth a read, if you've got the patience and time. It's probably the best
FIM fic I've read (assuming you don't count
audio-visual entertainment as "fiction"), but it's also the only long
FIM fic I've read. I tend to focus on short reads that only last a chapter or two.
edited 21st Mar '12 3:09:24 PM by Kerrah