Crowfall: Pffft. I know romance is best kept out of the show itself, but I wouldn't be entirely averse to an episode of Twilight's awkward pickup attempts.

Jteeth: I could see them doing it in EQG, but I doubt they'd ever introduce mane 6 romance into FIM. But yeah, watching Twilight trying and failing to hit on other ponies would be hilarious.

Sure enough our waitress, a lime green pegasus mare with a mug of coffee as her cutie mark, steps over and places two piping hot cups in front of us. Something clever. I just have to say something clever. My mind goes completely blank. I look over at Applejack who jerks her head in the direction of the mare and then my gaze drifts down to the table. Cups of coffee. I grab onto the idea like a drowning pony to a life raft. What can I say about coffee?

“Can I get you ladies anything else to go with that?” our waitress asks.

“You, ” I say. “Because you’re hot. Like this coffee. Only with sexiness instead of boiling water and dissolved particles of ground up beans. Not that I’m objectifying you. I mean I’m sure you have lots of other nice qualities that also somehow relate to coffee, I just didn’t want to imply that I thought you were literally the same temperature as the coffee even though I guess that’s what I said. If you had a body temperature as high as hot coffee you’d die in agony as you were cooked alive from the inside out oh Celestia why am I still talking?” I clamp my mouth closed before I can do any more damage. The two mares staring at me in silence is somehow even worse. Maybe I can salvage this?

“Wait, no, caffeine! You’re like the coffee because we’ll be up all night, the implication being that we’ll be banging! But then as our relationship goes on I’ll develop a terrible case of insomnia, and I’ll cheat on you with tea to try to wean myself away until eventually a doctor tells me I have to quit you cold turkey because I’m developing heart palpitations and odd muscle tremors.”

“Are you trying to hit on me?” asks the waitress, genuinely confused.

I plant my face down on the table and moan. “Sorry.”